Is better collaborate or compete? What style do you identify with the most? Are you willing to change your habits to achieve better results?
Implicit in the nature of the human being is a constant struggle for survival. To this end, throughout history, different civilizations and cultures have adopted successful strategies based on reciprocity and cooperation, but also on struggle and rivalry.
The work environment is a reflection of this innate nature, therefore we have both options to develop our resources and achieve our objectives.
In this podcast, Enric Corbera proposes to investigate the question of trust in others. Do we feel that we can be deceived? What is hidden behind this mistrust?
In this video, David Corbera explains what influences us to adopt either of these two positions and we will learn some keys to integrate them effectively into our lives.
If you want to know more about the la method and how to apply it in your life to increase your emotional well-being, follow our social networks: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Youtube.
Competing or collaborating in the work context
Is it better to compete or collaborate?
Both options have their benefits and, depending on the situation, one or the other will be more beneficial, so being flexible is key to success.
The objective of the competition is to achieve an optimal result. In its positive aspect, it implies a will to excel and evolve. However, when the goal is to be more or better than the other, or to get approval and admiration, it becomes a detrimental trait. It all depends on the intention.
“The best teamwork comes from men working independently toward a goal in unison.”
–James Cash Penney
Besides, collaboration offers us different perspectives. allows us to be more efficientsince the work is divided, more productive and brings a sense of belonging, to be part of a team in which help is mutual.
Collaboration can be harmful if the tendency to help is above reaching one’s own objectives. Neglecting our own priorities can slow down our development and generate expectations that others do not meet, leading us to resentment that generates apathy and .
Depending on the type of personality we have, we tend to act one way or another when conflicts arise. will allow us to know if we tend more to collaborate or to compete in challenging situations to be able to respond consciously and adapt when necessary.
Competition-focused personality
A person polarized in competition is individualistic. They focus on what directly concerns them, losing the opportunity to see other perspectives, to learn from other people and, ultimately, to enhance their development thanks to others.
“If you want to go fast, walk alone.
If you want to go far, walk together”
– African Proverb
Her goal is to be the best, to win, and to achieve victory others must lose. The comparison is insisted on. Profits are demanded and attempts are made to get the most benefits even if it is at the expense of others.
People who usually position themselves in the competition are characterized by:
Distrust towards others
People who tend to overcompete they perceive their peers as adversaries, rather than allies who could help. They don’t trust anyone but themselves. fear and mistrust.
Their beliefs condition them and although they can achieve great achievements in their lives, they feel dissatisfied and alone
All this is due to the fact that it is difficult for them to establish and trustworthy with his environment. Nevertheless, trusting others is not a symbol of weakness, but of strength.
If this position resonates with you, you can ask yourself:
Who would I like to lean on but I don’t allow myself to?
How many people around me can I really trust?
Can I show myself as I am?
Do I feel accepted?
The fear of failing because of others
The belief that something external can make us fail May cause stress, frustration, tension, and even aggressiveness. Considering that there are opponents, causes you to be in on the defensive against
Being afraid is not bad in itself, but being constantly alert is harmful, because it generates a type of harmful stress that influences our physical and mental health. It causes tiredness, difficulty thinking clearly and making decisions, irritability, etc.
misunderstood comparison
Valuing or admiring someone serves as a model to follow towards the path we want. Nevertheless, compete for success can lead to a excessive tendency to .
“The best thing about competition is not knowing who is better, but the personal improvement of each individual in each confrontation”
– Antonio Cabado
In the work context, comparing oneself excessively can contribute to the generation of an environment marked by resentment and rancorharming work performance and undermining confidence in the work team.
In addition, this type of behavior leads us precisely to reinforce what we are trying to overcome: insecurity and low self-esteem.
Do not accept criticism
The extremely competitive people They tend to fear the opinions of others and reject feedback, greatly limiting their own development. They don’t accept their mistakesThey hide them behind justifications and excuses due to a feeling of inferiority.
Their own insecurity generates them fear of losing their position or status, so they do not highlight the achievements of others or make them part of the successes.
they experience ongoing conflicts, the need to stand out for their achievements prevents them from achieving success and negatively affects their relationships.
This excess originates from childhood learning and experiences. They are usually people who grew up in environments where they were given value, recognition, and even affection, based on their “doing”. They learned that their value lies in what they do, not in who they are.
Collaboration-focused personality
People who primarily use a collaborative style They strive to meet everyone’s needs. They adapt and accept losses for the greater good, even to the point of disconnecting from their needs, desires, and purposes.
Those who tend to position themselves in a excessive collaboration are characterized by:
Lack of self-confidence
People who tend to over-collaborate They doubt themselves, they are perfectionists, they feel guilty when claiming their needs, they avoid conflict and focus on the needs of others
They often need the approval of others, so they sacrifice and seek acceptance. Have fear of being rejectedsocially excluded, and need to be recognized by others to feel valuable.
“Believe in yourself. You know more than you think you know.”
–Dr Benjamin Spock
Guide us by external references it is necessary in our process of adaptation to the social environment, but it is important not lose our own internal reference.
If you feel identified with this position, you can ask yourself:
What people in my environment have to agree with me before making a decision?
What would happen if I decided something that went against my environment?
What am I losing or leaving behind by waiting for an approval?
Fear of losing contact with others
Social rejection generates fear and painso it can be a great block that leads us to exceed the healthy limits of complacency and collaboration.
For our ancestors, being excluded from the clan was the most dangerous threat to survival. In addition, Naomi Eisenberg’s research shows that feeling socially excluded activates the same brain regions as when we suffer physical pain.
When this fear is excessive, the person tends to over-adapt to the environment, sacrificing their opinions, needs and preferences to be accepted and valued. In her tireless search for acceptance and contact with others, she loses connection with herself.
false modesty or false humility
It means underestimating one’s abilities, observations, or acts, hoping that others will praise us. This characteristic hides a need for social approval and an imbalance of self-esteem.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
—Eleanor Roosevelt
Comparing ourselves from humility (instead of ego) can be a resource for evolution, change and personal development, since it allows us to measure our progressset goals and motivate us by observing the qualities of others to enhance ours.
When we compare ourselves with the intention to improve, since we transform any comparison into a tool to empower us.
Excess of self-criticism
Far from leading us to establish negative judgments about ourselves, self-criticism should encourage us and help us improve in everything that we understand as weaknesses or optimizable points.
Too It implies recognizing our strengths and trusting in our possibilitiesbecause otherwise we can fall into an excess of self-criticism, which is just as impossible as its defect, if not more.
Excessive self-criticism is an internal process, involving thoughts and feelings, that is intended to anticipate possible criticism that may be received from the environment to avoid rejection and the suffering that this entails for the person.
If we do not become aware of the critic that we carry within, we can end up become our worst enemy. But if we observe our internal dialogue, we will realize that the words we say to ourselves are a reproduction of reviews we received in the pastmainly during childhood.
Benefits of competing or collaborating in a balanced way
Effective adaptability is based on the Balancebeing aware that each quality brings benefits.
Compete has several advantages, such as Motivate us to be better and improve ourselves. Having rivals allows us recognize our strengths and areas for improvement, to be able to work on them. In addition, it allows us differentiate ourselves from the groupstand out, grow, innovate and contribute our talents to the system.
For his part, collaboration allows us to share skills, talents and ideas. To collaborate makes us feel part of a team, which increases our motivation and commitment with the project. Also, it allows us work in a more positive environment, reducing our stress level and, consequently, improving our health and our performance.
Bioneuroemotion in the competitiveness-collaboration polarity
Both ways of functioning are necessary and complementary. for advancement in any field of knowledge and in all areas of life. There is no good or bad.
Both reside within us and, when applied in a flexible and adaptive way, they are beneficial and enhance…