Anorgasmia is considered to be the inability or great difficulty to reach the climax in a sexual relationship. It is an inhibition of the orgasmic phase within a response cycle, occurring in an environment of previous arousal and stimulation considered normal.
According to recent studies by Dr. Francisco Cabello, of the IASP –, the figures for anorgasmia in women are between 20 and 50% while those of men are not even considered, since even if it can occur, in the case of these it is infrequent and is accompanied by some other strictly linked dysfunction, such as impotence, which in this case would be the real cause in clinical practice.
Anorgasmia can be primary (women who have never experienced an orgasm), secondary (there have been orgasmic experiences in previous periods but they have ceased to occur) and situational (people capable of having an orgasm, but only in very specific circumstances). Regardless of this differentiation, as in the vast majority of so-called sexual dysfunctions, he is decisive in all cases to understand and address this reality in the clinical setting.
What are these factors of psychological origin, common denominator in the psyche of so many women? The response within the framework of Clinical Psychology is multiple in nature: anxiety associated with a expectation concrete, feelings of fault linked to one education based on markedly repressive in the field of sexuality, lack of confidence the couple, a casualty self esteem or a great lack of self-confidence, among others… However, we can go further and understand that, in addition to a “symptom” and something that inhibits us, there is a learning process and an afterthought.
On many occasions we equate the concept “sex” with “intercourse”, this presupposition derives from the traditional belief that it only makes sense when it is done to conceive a life, to procreate.
However, as the sexologist says: “To say that the preliminaries they are used to prepare intercourse is to draw our sexuality as children draw a home; with a stroke and a red roof”. This simplistic perception of “sex=coitus” reduces the magical and infinite connection between two beings to a mere procedure or formality, within this perspective demands, duties and expectations arise. In many cases, It is this way of trying to control the uncontrollable and label the ethereal that increases the difficulty when it comes to having intercourse with a satisfactory ending for both parties.
Indeed, the subjective, based on certain beliefs, that we have of a situation is what will determine our way of interpreting it and, therefore, of experiencing it.
As we already know, all psychological factors mentioned are part and consequence of those that sustain our way of “reading” the world and, therefore, will condition the perception of our experiences.
The truth is that the transgenerational inheritance of women, which remains to a large extent in our , places them in a position of special proclivity to suffer disorders in the sexual field, and specifically in the pursuit of pleasure.
Anorgasmia from the may be related to beliefs and emotional conflicts related to «No deserve” either «No afford either let go». It is important to consider that this type of dysfunction only represses the pleasant part, not the reproductive part. This fact, in the recent collective unconscious we live in, reflects a culture marked by a “sinful” conception of sexual pleasure, as well as experiences of domination by the man over his wife, in many cases confused more as “his property” than as his consort. This can lead to one related to experiencing sex as abuse and, therefore, a sex that “should not” or “cannot” be enjoyed. Searching for this type of experience in personal history can be of great help to understand the context from which we come and one of the possible unconscious reasons for this dysfunction to manifest.
As in other dysfunctions of sexual origin, beliefs, whether conscious or unconscious, acquired or , exert a determining influence on the way in which we perceive our experiences and therefore our world.
after their own hidden beliefs and information, which from our unconscious continue to condition our way of seeing and experiencing ourselves, we can change our way of perceiving ourselves, therefore Bioneuroemotion can be a valuable tool as a complement in addressing these dysfunctions. Not only for the detection of the , but also to find the intern that will make it easier for us to change them.
“You don’t have an orgasm, you learn to have it, or rather, you learn to allow yourself to get it.”
Valerie Tasso.