When we become aware of how we project ourselves onto others, each relationship becomes a unique opportunity to get to know ourselves better. According to psychologist Carl Gustav Jung, everything we get excited about has to do with us. Those aspects that bother us about other people are personal attributes on which we have made a judgment, which operates unconsciously, until we integrate .
1. Know ourselves through our judgments.
We often make judgments without realizing it, some of which may even seem irrational to us. Using the shadow for our benefit would consist precisely in making aware of what we judge of others and seeing where it is reflected in ourselves. We are constantly projecting information onto others, and as a result onto them aspects of our own psyche. As he would tell us, “the knowledge of your own darkness is the best method to face the darkness of other people.”
2. Use the shadow as an escape valve.
In cinema, psychology and literature we continually see references related to the shadow. From classic works like Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, to more modern ones like the Hulk. In all of them, it is shown how a repressed and incapable personality becomes destructive and extreme at a given moment. They are totally two personalities. This is precisely what causes the rejection of the shadow. Through everything we believe we are not, we end up expressing everything we “hate” in one way or another. According to Jung’s psychology: “People do anything; no matter how absurd this is, if it is to avoid facing their own souls.”
3. Dis-identify with our ego.
Precisely the ego is what we “believe we are”. A habit that, well integrated, will help us to better understand our , is to stop using the verb “to be” to define ourselves and to start using the verb “to be” or others that convey the same meaning. For example, instead of saying “I am shy”, we will express “I am shy”. In this way, we open ourselves to other possibilities of behavior. It is simply a matter of defining how we act without identifying with it, thus eliminating our need to defend ourselves. Ghandi said that “every word you use after “I am” dwarfs you.”
“Losing our name is like losing our shadow; To be only our name is to reduce ourselves to being a shadow.” (Octavio Paz).
It proposes, through the study of the shadow, that the person integrates those aspects of their personality, which they do not want to recognize or accept, so that they stop being unconscious, and thus be able to manage them consciously, in such a way that they contribute to their personal well-being.
“One does not achieve enlightenment by fantasizing about light but by making darkness conscious… what is not made conscious manifests in our lives as destiny.”
Carl Gustav Jung.
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