3 emotional burdens that you must let go to be happy

All past experiences leave us lessons and help us improve. Nothing can pass through our life without marking us in some way. The people and moments that have made us grow are always with us, whether consciously or unconsciously.

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But sometimes, these experiences carry emotional charges that, love yourself or not, they live with us. These are painful moments, from which we tend to cling to pain. They are hard to recognize, and even harder to let go.

Letting them go does not mean forgetting the moments of pain, but it implies being able to distinguish the learning from the emotional burdens that we put on them. The learning has a positive charge and helps us to build ourselves for the future. Instead, emotional burdens are full of pain and don’t allow us to move forward.

So that you can walk more freely through life, we invite you to ask yourself if you are carrying any of these emotional burdens with you.

you are not your family

The family is the basic nucleus and the first step of the human being in the process of socialization. This is why the bonds formed during the first years of life often have a great impact on our personal formation. The first insights into how the world works and our place within it come from our family bond.

It is the system that establishes unspoken rules about behavior and relationships. When what is experienced in childhood is not healthy, it is possible that internalize these behaviors. In this way, it is possible to project elements of your family onto your person.

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If your parents had contemptuous attitudes towards you, it is possible that you have a low level of self-esteem. The debunking of opinions, minimization of achievements and ridicule undermine self love. It is for this reason that you can feel in your adult life a latent possibility of contempt in each comment. The ability to always be on the defensive is a mechanism to counteract this vulnerability.

The important thing is to recognize that what your family has said about you is not your reality, nor does it define you.

On the other hand, if your parents’ relationship was marked by separations or cheating, you may feel mistrust in romantic relationships. The idea that healthy and lasting relationships do not exist can lead to problems with the realization of a couple.

That is why it is important to recognize that children are not destined to repeat in the footsteps of their parents. Observing unsuccessful couple experiences between parents can set the tone for what kind of relationship we do not want to have in the future.

Your current partner is not your ex.

Relationships are a part of our environment in which we consciously invest our time and energy. In the same way, we also put our expectations and self-esteem at stake. It is for this reason that past relationships, and the way they end, can affect us even years later.

If your ex has cheated on you, you may be feeling a bit paranoid about future relationships. This distrust makes it impossible to strengthen a relationship over time. But it is possible to let go of that burden and focus on your present relationship. Honesty is the only place to start from. For this, it is important to tell your past story to your new partner. And most importantly, it is working in pairs. Your partner can contemplate the place that you grant to security as long as you do not try to make him carry the characteristics of your ex.

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If you’ve dealt with abuse in your past, it’s understandable that it’s hard to trust a partner again. In these cases, it takes a lot of work, and often the help of a therapist, to let go of the hurt. You must understand that you are a person who deserves to be happy, love and be loved by someone who treats you well.

you are not your past

If at some point in your past you have performed actions that you are not proud of, it is necessary to acknowledge them. We must not hide our mistakes. Identifying our negative actions allows us to learn from them and not make mistakes again in the future.

But living in remorse and guilt doesn’t allow us to move forward. We cannot change the past. But we can change ourselves, improve from what we were. In some cases, realizing how much others have been hurt, people hold on to feelings of hurt and guilt.

Guilt over past actions is mixed with fear of repeating those actions in the future. It is for this reason that until we accept the actions carried out, we cannot free ourselves from guilt. And once this happens, we can be sure that we will not repeat the negative actions.

Always remember: eThe fact that you have had negative experiences does not define you.

You cannot change the past. Yes, you can, instead, appreciate the strength of your person when going through those difficult moments. Take the positive, take the teachings. Drop the emotional charge. Be happy.

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